Arguments are unavoidable in many relationships. The longer you’re with someone in a romantic capacity, the more likely it is you’ll start to bump heads over matters great and small. While it is true that “love is love,” there are plenty of differences that distinguish same-sex relationships from heterosexual ones. This is especially the case when it comes to arguments. For LGBTQ+ couples, certain events might trigger explosive or complex reactions. This is why it can be useful to learn how to address these issues when they appear and attempt to find a resolution. Working through arguments together is the only healthy way to learn and grow from the experience. Consider these common triggers to understand more about where these arguments are coming from. 

The Past Dictates the Future

Whether most people want to admit it or not, all current relationships are built upon the ones that came before. For some, previous romantic encounters that stirred feelings of neglect or inadequacy can dictate how a person feels about himself or herself. Similarly, how a person’s family treated him or her can have a lasting impression on how that individual handles a romantic partner. When an argument seems to erupt from an innocent conversation, it is important to take a moment to try and understand why.

Instead of engaging and creating a more heated situation, attempt to defuse the tension by asking your significant other why he or she is having this type of reaction. Your partner might not open up immediately about the past, but it will help to illustrate that you are not looking to fight and you simply wish for a clearer understanding. In some cases, it might be best to let tempers cool down before attempting to open a dialogue about the past.

Variety Is the Spice of Life

It takes all sorts to make a world. Sadly, plenty of people have difficulty accepting the viewpoints and opinions that other people have developed over their lives. While this can be problematic in and of itself, it can be disastrous in a relationship when not addressed. When you find yourself getting mad at your partner because of his or her opinions on a topic, consider the reasons. Instead of fighting about why you think the opinion is wrong, attempt to gain insight on why your significant other has this perspective.

The easiest way to ruin a relationship is by refusing to acknowledge your partner’s thoughts, feelings, or opinions. You don’t need to agree on everything, but you cannot ignore when you have visceral reactions to simple opinions or thoughts. Engage in conversation over the matter and see how to either accept your partner’s point of view or change your own perspective to be more understanding. Failing to do this can easily create a sense of resentment that builds over time and taints your bond.

The Closet Conundrum 

Plenty of LGBTQ+ couples experience problems related to coming out of the closet. When you’re out but your partner is not, it can easily create a lot of tension. The worst thing to do is force someone else to come out to family and friends. If your significant other isn’t ready, it is not your place to say otherwise. When this detail matters enough for you to put your partner’s feelings of safety at risk, it means you might need to reassess the relationship or consider why you have such strong feelings about the matter.

Being in a relationship means coming to terms with the fact that you’ll encounter arguments of all shapes, sizes, and severities. From money troubles to family matters to LGBTQ+ specific spats, the best way to deal with arguments is addressing the common triggers that cause them and working through them together.